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Pub Refurbishment - Top tips for a pub makeover. 2009-11-22 Here are my top tips for a pub makeover or “refurbishment” as it’s known in the trade. First you need to find a pub, okay I know you wanted to buy a restaurant but pubs are so much cheaper and the pub companies are practically giving leases away at the moment. No matter, there’s nothing in planning law that says you have to run it as a pub. The problem with most pubs is that they look so like a pub, it’s depressing; all that dark wood, etched glass and rustic inglenook, 400 years of history, it all looks well, old. So what’s to be done? Follow my simple stages to transform this dreary old pub into a dazzling eatery you can be proud of. 1. Rip out everything. Your regulars (for now) may call it “character” but we know it’s just tat. Get rid. Wood panelling, plaster decoration and the solid oak bar, they all have to go. 2. Walls, you don’t need them. Partitions and walls are so yesterday, just knock them down. Don’t be afraid the building will fall down, that’s what RSJ’s are for. If you can’t see from one end of your pub to the other, then you’re just not trying. Keep focused, wattle and daub is for losers. 3. Windows are for seeing through. Why oh why would you mess up a nice pane of glass with etching? Okay, it’s got the pub’s name on it, but that’s the problem, it just won’t fit in to the new look. Plain plate glass is the only option, how are passers-by going to see what a great refurbishment you’ve done if they can’t see in? 4. Paint. Paint is good. If you’ve been told by the planners you can’t take something out, like beams or that awful panelling or the inglenook, and your builders haven’t “accidentally” ripped them out while you were at the design consultants, then paint is the answer. Paint and lots of it. Not just any paint mind, to avoid disaster stick to the four trusted colours, (Farrow and Ball or National Trust of course) they come in satin or matt. 
5. Lighting. Most important, but tricky to get it right. Remember, you can’t have enough light. You’ll know when you have achieved perfection; there will be no shadows. Mood will not do, so keep it dazzling and keep it young. Cold, low-energy fluorescents the best. 6. Furniture. Choosing furniture is easy if you follow the rules. As you must know there are two styles of furniture available, ‘country kitchen’ or ‘jazz lounge’, never mix the two. (For ideas visit Ikea). You’ll need 90% of the floor space laid out for diners and the rest as a corral for those waiting to dine. You might be thinking, where are my drinking customers going to sit? Don’t take any crap from drinkers; make them stand in the corner. What do they think you are running here, a pub? Make them feel as uncomfortable as possible until they either leave, or order something to eat. 7. Staff. The staff, or ‘the team’ as they will now be known, are a necessary evil. You’ve ordered the polo shirts with the pub logo on them, so make them wear them. Don’t forget the name badges and be careful to get those tricky Eastern European names right. Vet your staff carefully, if they have worked in a pub before they may be trouble, or spying for a rival, so don’t hire them! Remind ‘the team’ not to indulge in idle chit-chat such as saying “please” and “thank you,” that’s what the customers say, not team members. Oh, and no over thirties, they won’t be able to operate the computerised till anyway. Keep it young! 8. Food and drink. The menu design is the most important part of running a dining opportunity. Leave nothing to chance. Ensure the simplest dish is made to sound like a work of art and use French wherever possible. For example, don’t just say simply, ‘peas,’ but ‘tender petit-pois glazed in locally sourced country butter’. It’s all part of the grand plan. There is only one drink, and that is wine. Beer is for labourers and they can’t afford to eat here. 9. Branding. Now it’s all coming together; the bar looks just right, devoid of character and very bright (sun glasses look cool by the way), tick that box. The ‘team’ are ready. The menus printed. But haven’t you forgotten something? The signage you fool. What self-respecting ‘bar and kitchen diner’ calls itself ‘The Dukes Head’? Get a sign writer immediately. A simple ‘Dukes’ painted in a font that no one can read, gold on a pale green background for example and along the bottom ‘bar and dining’, perfect. A word of warning, the word ‘pub’ should never appear anywhere; you don’t want to give the public the wrong idea! 10. The Grand Opening. You’ve spent over a million on the ‘refurbishment’ and the old place looks, well, nothing like the old place. Be prepared, the locals won’t like it. They’ll walk in, look around and mutter some obscenity and probably go to the Fox and Hounds down the road. But you’ll be safe in the knowledge that they won’t find a Braised Lamb al la Gasgoyne there! Oh no. Don’t’ be phased by the other ‘dining opportunities’ in the area. ‘George’s’ (formerly the George and Dragon) may look exactly the same as Dukes but let’s face it they just don’t have the marketing and anyway they are due another ‘refurb’ soon, it’s been almost a year since their last one after all. |
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